worthless lil painslut

my submissive life
2001-08-08 14:20:30 (UTC)

the phone

I have no excuse for not doing my diary entry yesterday as
instructed. I just didn't know enough of how I felt at the
time to be able to write honestly. This much I know now, I
don't like the phone. It's a different type of
relationship and while I'm glad to have tried it, I don't
think it's what I want. I like reading the words. I like
the internal struggle they bring, having to force myself to
do whatever the words on the screen demand. I like the
anonymity my dom has because of it. I don't need a voice
or picture to go with them. Just the cold, emotionless,
black and white words. "Do this. Not because I am kind
and asked to you, but because I told you to." That is the
kind of training I need. I was happy to read of my
punishment today. I will administer it as soon as I finish
this. And if I must be punished for making my entry late,
so be it, I deserve that too. I don't want to feel that I
can get away with something. If I don't follow an order
exactly, I know there will be consequences and I have
already accepted them. Nothing in life is ever easy, nor
should it be. The hardness of life, the struggles and
battles we fight, the pain we feel - they remind us we are
alive, and they are what make living worthwhile. Because
with them come victories, pride, and happiness.




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