Ryohei ive been angry and easily aggrevated. especially cause im bored. i have alot to complain about. i am nobody going nowhere in this piece of shit world. im applying for jobs but i have no refrences so im fucked plus my fucking brain is always cluttered. and dude my parents were all like you need to get a job. now when just this year i was like hey i want a fucking job. i been saying that since i was fucking 14. and everytime i said hey can i get a fucking job.. " no school is your job" or " no we dont have the time to take you" that was their summer excuse.. and now im pretty much going no where. i should have more than one fucking class towards my degree but we keep moving. im getting the fuck out befoore im 20. people say i should.. i think i should.. then maybe ill have a interesting life.. life has always been boring except when i actually had people to jhand with. but still rarely got to. the cali trip was fun on my bday.. theres nothing to do here in nevada. this place is shit. i guess im going to go for vet tech coz thats a 2 year degree and ill need to have a fucking job. thatrs my best option. but its only 30,000$b a year i wont have shit. i had expectations of my future way to high. And wtf man idk what to even think about her. i mean this is all far fetched. but i wasnt paying attention to that because i actually really like her but this long distance shit i hate idk what kinda relationship we even have i hate this shit fucking hate people. but im nice when im not pissed. ive lost intrest in all activites i did. Xbox, computer, talking to certain people its like fuck this. i cant beleive i even let myself think i could be with her. if she doesnt say it today then she will soon. fucking stupid me. thats y i hate myself sometimes. fucking fuck im soo fucking bored and thats y im getting angry. coz she isnt texting me and she was the only interesting thing about my day. im not mad at her idk wtf im even mad at. im just fucking mad. music doesnt even help. writing this here doesnt help at all i just feel the need to put it down. i still need to tell someone but im not gonna bother anyone with this. FUCK YOU!!!!! who? idk just Fuck you! |