Mark Ramsey As I blow the dust off this old "diary," it is time for me to talk about something I hold very dear to me. Alcohol. Rumor has it that the mind is a terrible thing to waste. I think I'd have to wholly disagree. Sure, your mind can be useful and all, but it could very well be the funnest thing to waste in the world. Sure it may tell you when to eat, sleep, or when the next episode of the O.C. is on (so you can drool over the sexy pseudo-lesbians and pretend you don't care what the other prim, rich, white-bred folk are up to), but your mind is also the thing that tells you that you that those girls over there are smiling at you only because you are wearing those ugly black boots again, or that the guy across the room is looking at you like he thinks he could take you..and its your job to prove him wrong. Now, you see, whether or not you believe your mind is a gift or a vice, if you've ever been at the good end of a great buzz, you know that regardless of the fact that you are slowly destroying your precious mind, it is well worth every neuron (those are non-renewable, I hear). Doesn't matter, though, because if you've ever won a jaegerbomb tournament or came in third in a kegstand competition (who cares that I was the only guy there), you know that wasting your mind is fun. You come to terms that you want Seth and whats-her-straight to get back together. You know that guy is looking at you cross only because he can tell his girlfriend wants you...but he's still a nice guy so you buy him a drink. You know those chicks are smiling because they want you AND think your boots are hotter than your Jessica Simpson lifelike pleasure doll. And under the all-the-cool-people-are-doing-it line of defense, I remind you that the best minds in history engaged in frequent mindwasting. Winston Churchill, Ernest Hemingway, Poe, and Van Gogh all enjoyed the finer things in death. Sure, art really takes no talent and Poe was a pedophile who suffered a young, untimely death by rabies, addiction, and years of sociopathy, but I'm sure that had nothing to do with the alcohol. This doesn't even include everyone famous who was born after the 1940...Jack Keroac, Bob Marley, and the Infamous Afroman. Even Clinton partook in the cannabis, and Bush...well, we're still looking to what's wrong with him. Your mind is a great thing to waste...so keep it up. Now White Castle burgers, your latest issue of "Cherry," and time that you could be using alcohol and drugs...those are terrible things to waste. |