bree so he text me and goes: so where are you? i said: babysitting in vestal. he goes: oh because i'm on a run and i'm by your house. he was going to come see me if i was home. how fricken cute is that? and totally unexpected! someone who plans to hurt me or not be involved with me wouldn't show up like that. there are plenty of other places he could have ran, plenty of other places he could hvae gone and he chose by my house and was going to see mee :D ik that this is a totally girly moment and i totally EEEEKKKK-ED :D but a girl has to have her hopes to high or else what funn is lifee?? :) i noticed today when he got a phone call and i thought it was this girl that he's really good friends with that i was a little jealous and upset. i wasn't really jealous (like i would have been a month or two ago) and i wasn't really upset (like getting up and walking out on him) i just rolled over because i didn't wanna hear it. it shouldn't bother me because i trust him, and i he has never given me a reason not to trust him around other girls. he's not even "technically" mine for me to be bothered by. but i was able to calm myself down the little bit and be perfectly ok before anyone could tell that anything had even been wrong. it ended up being a friend of ours, not even the girl i thought it was. this brought some relief, but it also made me feel stupid for even being the tiniest bit upset in the first place. mike talked about my "red flags" and tried to say they aren't bad but they are...and thats ok. everyone has them. he brought up the jealousy a lot. and yea i was quite jealous because a) im insecure and feel like he can do better b) he doesn't wanna commit to me so how was i suppose to know he wasn't trying to get with other girls (before i knew and trusted him like i do now) c) he's a flirt. thats his personality and thats just who he is. but i've been so much better. i trust him. he makes me feel beautiful and more comfortable with myself and this helps with my insecurities. yea he isn't calling me his girlfriend but he isn't fucking anyone else. and he is a flirt. its something that attracted me lol. he is always going to be that way even with his best friends (girls). i already have plans to go over there tomorrow. after that maybe i'll take a few days off from him. see if he texts me unexpectedly again :D im not trying to play games but i don't wanna be around so much that its annoying and i just wanna see if he'll show that he cares a little bit. still confusedd .. but a little happierr :D -b. |