B.Hamilton not a good day. Started off bad and it is probably going to end even worse. My cousin died today. She was only a year old, still a baby. I couldn't and still can't believe it.She was all jumpy and happy just yesterday. Puts a whole new meaning on the cliche things can happen in an instant. I ddn't cry though. I never cry. Not even at funerals.However, I always ask myself why not; everybody else is crying, why can't I. I don't get it and I feel like something is wrong with me,like I'm a freak of nature or something. Is there something wrond with me. I decided to write here because I needed to express my feelings somehow. I did write a poem, but i coldn't put all the feelings I was feeling in it. I.....i'm just babbling, because I don't want to face up to what that phone call told me this morning. Here I wa sitting at the comp. when the phone rings. I answer it and instead of what I think I'm going to hear, I hear my cousin is dead. I hear it, but I don't. I'm sorry if I don't make sense or it grammar or spelling is wrong. I just can't deal right now, and all I can do is write down what comes to mind. I could go get something I have told myself I want ever do again. But I'm trying not to . I'll never cut again. never. god, i hope everything works out. |