i never knew. Plase forgive me. I didn\\\'t mean to tell. I\\\'m sorry I admitted to being raped. I\\\'m sorry for telling anyone anything. Right now all I can feel is fear. I feel fear becayse I knw the person is coming home really soon I have a few months before his release though. That really scares me. I know he\\\'s going to be mad at me in the end. Well, at least when he comes home. Its gonna be like last time. He came home and after a while he seemed like he was sorry for hurting me. But then he screwed me like I was some whore off the streets. It tore down my spirit after a while and then I told myself to get over it. I masked the pain with other activities. Its almost as if I ripped out the pain and stored it in a box to handle on a rainy or snow day. I know its not a healthy thing to do but I do it anyway to keep myself happy and smiling. I don\'t like crying and I don\'t like being unhappy. Even though I know that the pain is still somewhere in my body I just leave it some place and I try my best to never go back to it but sometimes there are things that basically remind me of what happened to me growing up. Like when people touch me in certain areas of my body, I get nervous and tend to quickly push them away. |