GERANIUM You said you wanted to talk How different I am How your going to take me to the doctor tommorow for help How you want a daughter and mother relationship How you wonder why I don\'t like you How if I don\'t tell you , you wouldn\'t know How your the only person I have That this is the best I\'m going to get I tried not to look at you And I tried not to shed a tear I have too much resent and bitterness I can\'t When you saaid this was the best I was going to get I had mixed feelings The best? Going to a school with no good friends, a lot of people hate me, always feel like I\'m going tofaint once I stand Maybe because I was your first kid You didn\'t know how to really raised me If this was 6th grade I would of been so happy Call me stupid,ungrateful but Most of the times I felt like I never really had parents Only for show No one to tell me what I derserve and not How I should be treated How to feel about myself What to do with this feeling This why I\'m taken advantage of. I\'m lucky though Especially if this was a year or two ago Because I would of accidently attracted the wrong people I could of been rape, or ran away with other deliquent Because I felt worthless I won\'t let you in I can\'t I\'m just starting to build myself By myself Without help I don\'t know what to do Or where to start But your not the only thing I have I have me I don\'t knowe if its good enough I\'m going to try to put myself atleast in the top 3 of my life How come when I come to you in trouble You shrug it off But now when I shrug you off Your hurt and want me to let youu in I really wish you send me off to an orphaanage Sooo much I sound like a horible person? Right I wished she did Maybe I could of had a parent who could of cared for me the right way Or even if I was an orPhan child People would understand how lonely I am But with me here, no one can I sound stuppid don\'t I My heart feels real wierd lately I don\'t know how to describe it I rather not feel it though Whenever you tell me youu love me For a quick second I get happy And believe it Then realized no You don\'t At all You feel like you have to say it Not that you truely do Don\'t you have to show you love someone Not just say it I hate this feeling I think I might need that therapist But I feel crazy needing one I\'m trying to change into a better me So that I won\'t cry every night in my life That I won\'t have these bitter resent thought That I can waslk strong No one would ever see me cry Or red eyes Say what I think Be strong And hope someone would love me for that |